I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
Your penis caused this!
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize