For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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