Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Randomize
