Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Randomize
