hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
