I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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