Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Randomize
