I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
