8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
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