can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Randomize
