Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
