She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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