I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
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Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
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