I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
