Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
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