I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Randomize
