is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
