Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
It's blow job season.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
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