Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize