He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
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