It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
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