your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize