Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
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