i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize
