Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
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