If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
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