My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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