So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
