I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
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