I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
