READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Randomize
