What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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