you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Randomize
