maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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