OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize