David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
Randomize
