Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
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