Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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