I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
