Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Randomize
