Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
There r osticjed everywhere
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
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