This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Randomize
