ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
