His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
