Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
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