He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
Randomize