erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
