You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
