Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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