Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Randomize
