her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
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