At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
