her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
Randomize
