I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
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