You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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