i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Randomize
