I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Randomize
